The pH Police: Coming for You!

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The pH Police: Coming for You!

By Laura Carson Miller

Never mind that I’m showing my age but when I hear the word ‘pH’ I think of a television commercial from the ‘70’s, that I believe was for Herbal Essences shampoo, promising to do something to the pH of your hair or scalp to make you look amazing.

Fast forward to 2016, when pH has suddenly become a big health and beauty buzzword all over again. Imagine that.

For this renewal of attention to our respective pH levels, we have Elle ‘The Body’ McPherson to thank. She is the purveyor of an alkalizing potion that is supposed to balance your pH levels and make you look amazing (does that ring a bell?) and it costs $135. Now you must also realize that Elle maintains a pretty strict diet, as in eats no red meat and has not had alcohol in 11 years (the alcohol abstinence thing is probably a good idea – see my ‘Fall Fixes for your Health and Beauty Doldrums’ story in the Health and Beauty category of the Style File and I have not been a red meat eater for about 11 years myself) and this aids in one looking amazing.

Oh, and let me tell you why alcohol and meat are bad for your pH, along with soft drinks, coffee, sugar, and dairy products to name a few. It’s because they make your system all yucky and acidic. When your system is acidic it is said to be more prone to disease and looks to balance itself by stressing other parts of your mind, body and spirit. You want to be alkaline, darling. The things you should be eating to support an alkaline state? Greens things, as in asparagus, peas, beans, broccoli, lettuces and the like, herbs (grow yourself an herb pot with basil, tarragon, sage, thyme and such) and spices including turmeric (its awesome on popcorn while you are watching football), cayenne pepper or a blackened Cajun blend on grilled veggies or fish. Fruits and nuts are also in the alkaline mix. Yum.

Because one has to stay on top of this kind of thing, regardless of location, location, location, Elle and some of other jet set types have publicly admitted carrying portable strips to test their urine, to confirm they are in the alkaline zone. You can also test your saliva. Whatever floats your boat. And Elle is so rich I’m sure she has several very large boats. But I digress.